drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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