Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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