I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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