Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize