May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
