i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
