the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
