i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
When are your genitals available?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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