just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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