Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
