That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
