doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
