nut hugger
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
