Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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