Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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