You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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