youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
