areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
