a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
