You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
