His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize