tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
