Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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