You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
