He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
