I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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