I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
areolas are like halos for boobs.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
