After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
