yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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