idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize