No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
