mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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