when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
