i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
BRING THE BAGELS
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
