Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
