If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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