She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
