drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
