i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
