a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
