those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
