Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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