So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
