Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
