Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
