I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
