Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she smelled like a LAN party
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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