Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think your dad took our porno
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize