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No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
