it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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