The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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