so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This baby is an asshole
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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