I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
