Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
