I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She told me I should be a condom model.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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