Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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