You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
