jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
should my penis look like a turkey
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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