STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
